It's Tuesday and tomorrow I have my second meeting of tutorial.
That means I gotta finish my LO now, but I really feel like writing right now.
These past 3 days, since I had my interview, has been so mind-distracting for me (I'm not sure it's the right word, but whatever, it's my blog boo) :p
Since it's the "changing season" in all UKM (student activity centre) in FK Unand, so there are new faces and some faces that didn't get the place/position they wanted, or hoped for.
I just wanna say,
It's the most human thing to be dissaponted.
If somehow I didn't get what I had hoped and worked for and I just didn't feel any dissapointed nor sad, that means I am one hypocrite.
So, for whatever it is, I'd like to be absorbed in sadness than fake and let it hide somewhere until in just BLOW OUT sometime.
And I learnt something from my nutrition lecturer.
dr.Delmi : " Let see, all of you must be the 10 to 15 ranked in your old school.. If you were the first in general rank, you wouldn't be in here, you would be in UI or ITB."
That was, seen from on part, rude.
But, that was also the truth.
But, I know for sure now, after spending one year in dentistry and being called grateless or greedy by people, there best we can do is to be grateful of what we have now.
But changing your plan, redesigning, and hoping for the future you wanna have are never greedy.
I've had times when I just called Mom and told her how I wished I weren't studying medicine and how I envy other people who study things that don't involved human,life,thick textbooks.
But here's what my Mom says:
"Why are you being so ungrateful?!So yeah, what I really learnt is that I am human.
Didn't you remember the time you were in dentistry and thought 'how cool and huge it is to be a medical student?' And now God had given you the chance to get in with the fact that you didn't prepare that much and many people out there dying to be in your position!
Open up your eyes Dys.
Don't be enchanted too easily by what you see on the outside.
You think people who don't study medicine just live without problems.
They have their own, and so do you."
I can be blinded by what I see.
I can feel happyness,joy,pain, and despair.
And to fake that I don't feel that way, is such misery.
And to be brave to show how I truely am is such a privilege I shouldn't let go.
My lecturer and Mom showed me that.
So, let me be the bitchy, the hyperactive, the noisy, the dreamy, the dirty-mouth, the loving, the careless, the messy, the feminine, the ambitious, the nervous, the hard-working, the moody lady that I am.