Friday, July 31, 2015

Black Magic

Hi bloggie!
it's the end of July and also the end of my 3-week-holiday in Medan.
I'mma head back to Padang on Sunday afternoon.

It's funny when holiday is almost over, I just feel like laying on my bad, watching Orange Is The New Black, or just switching through the TV channels. XD

But, for tomorroow, I think I have list o do :

1. Clean the house (my main job whenever I'm home) :D
2. Eat lontong pagi and serabi (must-have breakfast meal whenever I'm home) :p
3. Start reading my jobdesk as HRD Team CIMSA
4. Out with Mamak and Cia, I'm craving or Pizza Boy and  burger..guess those will be my lunch 
5. Buy my ticket 
6. Packing my stuff 


Thank you for my fantastic holiday God.
It has been fulfilling my heart.
May I head back to Padang with a fighting spirit and a surrending heart. 




Sunday, July 5, 2015

Ed Messran

So, it's been 4 day since all the exam thingy.
And It's also been 4 days of watching Vampire Diaries, waiting for Saat Berbuka to buy food, doing nothing in my room.

It's also been 4 days of feeling literally alone and lonely.
My kost has 10 rooms outside the landlord's house, 5 in the back row, 5 in front.And my room is in the middle of the back row.
The other rooms are empty but mine.
So, when I watched around midnight, it gave me a creepy sensation. XD

Last night was a bit out of my treshold point.
I couldn't take the fact that I couldn't go out on my motor.
I'd have to take the public trasportation, taxi, or walk.

The fact that I can't go by my own and the way I want, starts to build the feeling of being limited,caged up.

I don't know why, but  just couldn't open up as I ussually do with my group friends he than in Medan.
May be it's just me can't take this culture shock.

First time In Methodist 2, it was culture shock too.
Didn't think I'mma have to face this again, with the fact that this time all of my life changed.
There's no more Mamak,Bapak, Cia.
No more mobility.
No more freedom on being, talking what I usually do.
No more sister-time with Kak Abeth.
No more eat-window-shopping-fooling-around with Dea.
No more three crazy,loving,uniqely different girls I have in Dentistry.
No more partameangan.
No more sermon,
No more my safe zone.

I don't know why it repeatedly come to me.
The thought of comparing Padang to Medan.
The feeling of being alone.
The constantly-complaining Gladys.

The fact that Mamak has always tried her best in motivating me may be one of the reason why I just can't back off.
I've gone far. 
She has spent a lot me studying here.
and I know this makes her happier than ever.

" Aku ga tau. Aku ga tau kalau bakalan seberat ini waktu dijalaninnya.Banyak banget yang aku tinggalin di Medan.Aku terus berpikir apa FK ini layak buat itu semua.Buat semua yang aku tinggalin, semua yang aku relain. "

" Ga ada yang bilang bakal gampang.
Kamu ingat singa betina itu keluar dan berburu untuk kelompoknya.
Mangsanya dua kali lebih besar dari dia, lebih cepat.
Tapi dia harus kejar buat makan kelompoknya.
Kalau memang ini bukan yang kamu mau, tapi ga mungkin kamu tinggalin, jalanin aja dulu.
Selesain.
Setelah itu kamu lakuin apa yang kamu mau.
Aku yakin kok kalau kamu mampu nyelesainnya."

That's what Jo told me last night.
He called because I was don't-wanna-go-out-just-want-to-be-at-kost that night.

I like English a lot.
I like stories, a lot.
I can read an article talking about Lithium in "curing" Bipolar in New York Times than actually just read my lecturer presentation.
I like Diana Rikasari's blog.
It's colorful.
I like magezine. It's also colorful and fresh and entertainment-filled.

I like riding my motor to 80 km/hour.
I like the feeling of freedom, of the wind blowing my hair, of my short skirts, my T-shirts, my messy hair.
I like to run.
I've always liked it.

I like CIMSA, precisely I like being part of actions.
I like selling DANUS. It makes me feel I'm needed or actually can bring something that make someone happy.

I like having  good boy friends.
I was never sure of it, but I like it.
Boys are less drama, 

I like doctors- my lecturers- who don't push me (us) to get A, but opening our horizon and making me (us) wonder.

I like writing.
My mind talks all the time.

I like chocolate, all variant of it.
I like good food.
I like watching movies, series.

 
The truth is, I feel worried if people, my relevat know all of this.
That they'll hink my Mom pushed me into this road.
I don't like people blaming my Mom.

But you know what.
I've got to the point where I stop worrying others' perspectives on my family.
I know my Mamak, I know my Bapak, and I know my Cia.
Everybody's opinions won't change the fact that these are the only people I share blood with.
I spent my first years of life with.





 

Friday, July 3, 2015

R/ Epinefrin 1 mg No. I

Happy people!
It's sunny but not so hot in Padang this afternoon.
And I just got back from this Basic Pathology, Diagnose, and Therapy block's exams.

One thing made today 'special' was while we're having our Pharmacology Lab's MCQ exam papers, came our lecturer saying this :

" Ujian sama saya nilainya 15 point selama 15 menit.
Tulis soalnya!
1. Sebutkan apa yang dimaksud dengan obat parenteral?
2. a. Sebutkan jenis-jenis obat parenteral.
    b. Berikan contoh masing-masing 5 beserta dosisnya.
KALIAN DI SINI KULIAH KEDOKTERAN.BUKAN MAIN-MAIN! "

FU*K!

I guess it was pretty much what's in all of  in J room yelled in our hearts, besides " Ya Allah!" of course.

I didn't have any problem with the exams, although I'm not sure about my answers. :p
It's just the way this ibuk YELLED and ORDERED us. Especially her last words.
It's just..

What you think we'e been doing this last freaking whole year Buk?
Playing around?!
It's been one year of even just trying to find and actually fit to any studying methode we knew.
It's been crying alone in the room saying to our selves
"Am I good enough?"
"Can I make it?"
 

Every week is about finishing and grabbing one or more textbooks.
Every week is about changing from an obgyn, to an internist, to a geriatrist.
Another is about doing our Indonesian tasks and Civil's presentation and exams.
 
Sometimes it's about getting in our organisation, doing the programs.
Other times it's about the faculty agenda.
I'm not whining about all the things we have to face, the textbooks we have to read, the schedule we have to follow.
I'm just saying, there are other ways to make students open their eyes, to motivate our willingness to study, to ask, to explore.
Not by making us feel so down, like we haven't done anything this past one year.
          So yeah, you write me a prescription to be your so dreamed medical student. 
         The kind of students who will make proud the "institution" , who will keep the                          "accreditation".
But at the and of the day, I'mma choose whether I trust your pescribed drugs or get myself another opinion, or try alternative medication.

Love,
your-frequently-stumbled-along-the-medical-road student.








Friday, June 26, 2015

Knife it is.

Hello bloggies!

I just reached home ( actually just my 16-meter-squared room) from break-fasting with my university mates.

Truth be told, I'm facing acne problem, again -__- , this lately.
It has been driving me mad and actually ashamed whenever friends come asking "what happen to your face Dys?"

Honestly people, if I had known what happened to my face, I would have effing stop these deliciously reddish inflamations! -__-"

You know, ever since I arrived here, in Padang, I have - in most of the time- hidden my nature behaviour.
My loud, insane, nasty, bitchy, ambitious, sarcastic self.
I have been very "concerned" about what people think and see on me.

But this evening, I couldn't stop laughing my heart out surrounded by people doing the same.
The feeling of safe being my self was rejoicing.

Some not so joyful moment was :
the taxi I took home didn't put the cargo on, I don't LIKE that!

And I know it's nothing but my silly, random, time-wasting post in the end of week 6, end of semester 2, which immply that I'm having Block exam next week, and OSCE on the next 2 weeks.

Whatever.
I do what I want now.
And I want this.

And I think I don't wanna put up with somebody's childish, selfish, queen-bee behaviour any more.
You need to think about what people feel when you do or say something, especially ones close to you.
Being close doesn't freaking immply you got to be the boss all the time.
I shut you down.
Do what you want.
Just don't expect  the same tolerance! *middle-finger-inserted-here* :p



Sunday, May 31, 2015

Dumb NaNaNa

Hi bloggies!
I don't remember when was the last time I blogged XD
hahahha..

Any way,
Good news, I got in the Project Team of CIMSA FK Unand 2015-2016!!
Thanks God.
And today, I'll be having SCOPH's upgrading called iTunes :)

And, I'd really love to talk about this (not so new) series I love, THE NEW NORMAL. ;)
I love the story, it's not heavy like Vampire Diaries, Game of Throne, especially True Blood.

And I think it has some really good life lesson and also criticism especially about how the society treats LGBT.
I'm not exactly the best person on ignoring what people think and say about myself, but love is love.
Other than that is none of our freaking business, moreover our judging.


And ughh...this song really beats my head this lately. :)
So, Happy Sunday.





XOXO, Glados.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

My Half Papachunk

Hi people.

It's Tuesday and tomorrow I have my second meeting of tutorial.
That means I gotta finish my LO now, but I really feel like writing right now.

These past 3 days, since I had my interview, has been so mind-distracting for me (I'm not sure it's the right word, but whatever, it's my blog boo) :p

Since it's the "changing season" in all UKM (student activity centre) in FK Unand, so there are new faces and some faces that didn't get the place/position they wanted, or hoped for.

I just wanna say,

It's the most human thing to be dissaponted.
If somehow I didn't get what I had hoped and worked for and I just didn't feel any dissapointed nor sad, that means I am one hypocrite.

So, for whatever it is, I'd like to be absorbed in sadness than fake and let it hide somewhere until in just BLOW OUT sometime.

And I learnt something from my nutrition lecturer. 

dr.Delmi : " Let see, all of you must be the 10 to 15 ranked in your old school.. If you were the first in general rank, you wouldn't be in here, you would be in UI or ITB."

That was, seen from on part, rude.
But, that was also the truth.

But, I know for sure now, after spending one year in dentistry and being called grateless or greedy by people, there best we can do is to be grateful of what we have now.
But changing your plan, redesigning, and hoping for the future you wanna have are never greedy.

I've had times when I just called Mom and told her how I wished I weren't studying medicine and how I envy other people who study things that don't involved human,life,thick textbooks.
But here's what my Mom says:

"Why are you being so ungrateful?!
Didn't you remember the time you were in dentistry and thought 'how cool and huge it is to be a medical student?' And now God had given you the chance to get in with the fact that you didn't prepare that much and many people out there dying to be in your position!
Open up your eyes Dys.
Don't be enchanted too easily by what you see on the outside.
You think people who don't study medicine just live without problems.
They have their own, and so do you."
So yeah, what I really learnt is that I am human.
I can be blinded by what I see.
I can feel happyness,joy,pain, and despair. 

And to fake that I don't feel that way, is such misery.

And to be brave to show how I truely am is such a privilege I shouldn't let go.
My lecturer and Mom showed me that.

So, let me be the bitchy, the hyperactive, the noisy, the dreamy, the dirty-mouth, the loving, the careless, the messy, the feminine, the ambitious, the nervous, the hard-working, the moody lady that I am.


Saturday, April 25, 2015

Googled

Hi bloggies. :)
It’s half past ten at night and I just got home from Padang Fair.
Felt so tired emotionally and physically.

Today wasn’t that activity-occupied one, but I had been so nervous and worried about CIMSA Unand Official candidates’ interview, in which I’m applying as Project Team. I know there are a lot from our batch and may be our senior applying for that position too. I was (and still scared).
Stupid, I know. Like worrying will make it any less easier for my interview. But what can I say, I’m full of nerves, worry nerves. -__-

Also today I gotta face my selfish and sarcastic self again.
I hate it when people play around on promises with me.
If you say yes to me, stick to it buddy.
Don’t play around like you’re the only one having things to do. -__-

Yes means yes. No means no.
If it’s yes, say yes. If it’s no, say no. Other than that comes from the evil.
And, a little review about Padang fair, I actually thought it’s more propriate to be called “ Padang BATU AKIK Fair”. XD
But ehmm.. they also got some stands from Surabaya, Banten, even Sumatera Utara.
It’s a shame I couldn’t come earlier so I can explore more and I should’ve brought money with me.
But, I still managed to buy myself a new sheet of fabric. It’s cute and low in price ;)


So yeah..today was a day.
Thanks for being so patient Jo.
But I really need a place to scream my heart out and say what I feel deep inside.